“Another One Bites the Dust”

You know the days where everything goes wrong and it seems as though the whole world starts to crumble in, and it can be for an array of different reasons:

You have a bad day at work; get told off by the boss, then you go home to find a picture of you car with a speeding ticket attached to it.

Or you have a row with a parent and exchange words that you don’t really mean; go for a walk to calm down and get splashed by a lorry driving through a puddle, then a bird shits on you.

Or as what’s happened to me today, you find out that the girl you have just split up with has found a new boyfriend.

Now, I’ve been roaming the earth for the last 20 odd years, and for the last 5, I have been dating. I couldn’t really get a girlfriend at school as I wasn’t in the, “in” crowd and none of the girls really looked at me, although I wouldn’t go as far to say I was a geek either as I wasn’t, I just didn’t fit in. At the age of 16 I got me first real girlfriend, who I can honestly say I loved dearly.

We met in the strangest of situations; it was at a go-kart track. Which isn’t together all that strange. Infact let me give you a bit of background there or it doesn’t quite make sense.

When I was much younger, I used to do a bit of karting and used to race in the British Championships, infact against a boy you alI know quite well now called, “Lewis Hamilton”, although he was much much better, I was alright; not the best but did have a real flare at starting at the back of the grid and going through the field like a hot knife through butter, like Sterling Moss on speed, but just a younger fatter version; although once I got to the front and was leading and everything was going to plan, I just could never keep my head and would always end up head first into a tyre barrier, until one day, I ended up trying to go around a corner, actually on my head, carrying the kart on my back,

“Anything to get a faster line me”. Needles to say my Dad wasn’t too impressed and I didn’t race again professionally again after that.

Anyway, a few years later, in the school holidays to keep me out of mischief, I would compete in the junior championships at my local indoor circuit. Now, here, I was in my element, and not to brag, but I did pretty much win every race. After all I was by now close to 17 and I was racing 12 year olds!! So I did have a pretty unfair advantage, but winnings winning in my book.

Anyway, one week I made friends with this family and they were asking me if I would give their son some pointers, which I gladly did, and sure enough the results started to show.

The following week the family again were there, but this time they had brought the daughter along too. She was gorgeous; blonde hair, blue eyes, she really was beautiful.

Anyway as I had made friends with the family: I sat with them and spent the whole day talking to her and we got on really well.

It was the last race of the day, I was leading and her brother was in second and on the last corner before the straight: (where she was watching) I pulled over to let him win his first ever race.

That night she came round to my house, and before long; we were boyfriend and girlfriend.

We stayed together for about 9 months, and we had some really good times together, although towards the end we just drifted apart. We didn’t speak for about a year after, as she did break my heart, (she dumped me), although later we patched things up and too this day, we are still really good friends and she often calls me up and asks me what she should do with her love life, as she has met someone new, etc, although I’m the one that really needs help with that.

Since then I have not really had a girlfriend, I mean I have seen lots of girls, for all different lengths of time; ranging from 1 night to a few months but never pushed the boat out and actually committed.

Some I quite liked but I would always find something wrong with them, something that I wouldn’t entirely like, although maybe my bar was up to high or maybe I was just scared to open up after already having my heart broken or maybe I just liked playing the field although; I would always get caught out when I did this as I would always pick the wrong girl, that new someone; who new someone; that new someone else you were seeing. Not that I made a habit of this but you know what its like when your young.

Which brings me back to today, all that aside, a few months back I actually did meet a girl who I really did quite like and it got to that point again after a period of time where it’s sort of into that zone; you know the one where you are together but not if you know what I mean; not that I really know what I mean.

Anyway she was edging me to commit and I would always resist until recently she got fed up with this yoyo situation and finished with me. Obviously now as I couldn’t have her anymore I really wanted her and was happy to re-think about the whole being an item thing; but by this time; a few weeks on, it was too late; she now had a new boyfriend.

I went for a drink with her tonight, on the proviso that we are just friends nothing more. (Her terms; not mine)  although it ripped my heart out, not being able to cuddle or kiss her and even her attitude towards me had changed.

I dropped her off after back at her flat and said goodnight, probably for the last time as I now realised it was over, “I hope it all works out for you both”; I said through gritted teeth, knowing that I had just lost something, very special and deep down knowing that if I had of tried at bit harder and been a bit more considerate, or just realised what I had; when I had it, it wouldn’t have of come down to this; well at least not until the divorce anyway.

(Out in front again, locked up the brakes and off into the tyres )

Oh well, One day I’ll get it right,

night

Jtx

“written - whilst looking for bird seed”

Now people might say, that I’m a little hyperactive; of course this is not true. Well maybe a little, you see I do get quite excitable at times. Not that this would have anything to do with the fact that I drink about three bottles of Lucozade and seven cans of Coca Cola a day or my fetish for cream eggs and then there are wine gums and Skittles, especially the red ones although if it was just the red ones in the pack without any other colours, you know for a fact that I would want a green one, just because I couldn’t. I won’t even go on to fruit pastels.

When I was younger I remember going out for a walk with my granddad every day, and living by the sea we used to go to the beach. He would teach me all about the sea and the tides and we would hunt for crabs under the rocks. At the time he was giving up smoking, so he used to eat about nine packets of fruit pastels a day to compensate, well maybe it was more like we had half each, subsequently all my baby teeth either when black or fell out, to the dismay of my next door neighbour, Auntie Annie who’s like a second mum to me, passionate about my teeth always on at me to go upstairs and clean them, even now. Thankfully I got my adult teeth through and have cut right down on the sweets and I do brush quite regularly, even my dentist comments about how lucky I’ve been, otherwise I don’t think I would be doing what I do now.

I mean I don’t always run around like a headless chicken, sometimes I even think before I speak and I don’t always mess everything up although I know for a fact that in the past maybe I have lost a few jobs as the odd client has thought that I was a bit too crazy; obviously on some happy pills, but this is Never the case, I’m just high on life.

Ok, so last Sunday night I get a text from this number, saying something along the lines of,” Hi James, how are you, I’ve just seen your commercial on the TV, do you want to go for a drink?” Now as most of my numbers are still in Brazil, I didn’t have a clue who this was. So I gave the number a call, not knowing really who to expect.

It turned out that it was only the most beautiful girl I had ever met. The particular girl in question I met a few years back whilst filming a pop video for their band, we had even chatted a bit in the past but nothing ever came of it and it had been a good six months since we last had spoken, anyway she said to give her a call tomorrow about hooking up for a drink.

So with that the following day I gave her a call and that evening we went out to a nice restaurant around the corner from where she lived. Obviously it wasn’t quite so simple as that as I did have to decide what to wear all by myself which in itself took all day.

I thought the date when really well, we had a good chat and the food was ok too and she did look every bit as gorgeous as I remembered. We were in the restaurant about two hours when we got the bill and being the perfect gentleman, I gave her a lift home; I even got a kiss on the cheek for my troubles.

Driving the one-hour journey back to my house flew by as by this time I had a huge smile on my face; pleased with how the night had gone, dancing away to all my favourite songs, with the windows down even though it was -2 outside.

Once I got home I tried to give her a call, and it just rang and rang, so I left it about another hour and sent her a text thanking her for a wonderful evening, she texted me back straight away, saying pretty much the same thing and that she would let me know when she was next free.

Two days have gone by and I still haven’t heard a thing! Maybe I came across a little excitable or maybe my idea’s of jumping on a plane together and going skiing was a little too much for her. (What?  I didn’t mean right then, no no, much later like a week or so. Not that she would know that.) Or maybe I should have let her sweat a bit and not tried calling her like all my friends were telling me, in hindsight all these things go through your mind, but when it’s happening it all seems like the right thing to do.

You see I’m just not very good with playing this whole game thing, I just can’t get to grips with it, with me its always the same story; the ones I really want, I never get; I always mess it up, getting all excited and too keen, scaring them off and as for the ones I’m not that interested in, where I don’t pay them much attention, I can’t beat them off with a stick.

I was explaining my situation today to my friend and he compared me to a pigeon. Now at first I was like, what are you talking about, but then it all made sense.

You see at the moment I am like a pigeon, I chase too many girls that I don’t really want, and then I’m too keen, bobbing my head up and down chasing them, (like a pigeon), where instead I should be more like an Eagle, soaring high up above until he sees the one girl that he really wants; when he swoops down and gets her.

I’ll get it right one day! You never know; she could just be making me sweat a bit, or maybe she’s just busy, or maybe she popped to Rio since the date. Only time will tell! 

Jtx